Love Me! Kiss Me!
by Angelus Eros Weiss
Summary: Kankurou and Chouji has a secret relationship, as much as possible they try to hide it and madness emerges. Shikamaru and Temari just want it all over. While Gaara gets frustrated, Lee is Lee and Neji goes for Gai. Rated for Safety
1. So Close

Love me! Kiss Me!

By Angelus Eros Weiss

Disclaimer : I do not own Naruto

OOCness is Greatly Expected  
Rated : M (for safety)

Genre : Romance / Humor

Pairings (Main) : KankuChou

(Others) : ShikaTem, GaaLee, NejiGai, etc.

Warning : Foul Language, Shounen Ai, perverted stuff

Summary : Kankurou and Chouji has a secret relationship, as much as possible they try to hide it and madness emerges. Shikamaru and Temari just want it all over. While Gaara gets frustrated, Lee is Lee and Neji goes for Gai.

The second KankuChou fic I made! I hope you all like it! This will not be a one shot! It will be a chapter fic, now anyway, if you do not want to read a KankuChou fic, not my problem! Anyway to all you readers, let us spread the flaming power of Yo—aoi!

Date 1 : So Close

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It was nighttime 7 o' clock, Kankurou stood at a corner waiting for a certain potato chip loving boy to come. Not that many people were there and he was getting a little bored. Nothing to do… So bored… nothing amusing… feeling as if he will rot to death there… I am gay… where is the Akimichi already?

When suddenly he felt someone grab his shoulder making him jump up and scream like the singer of loving you, doobeedoobeedoo! He then falls into plump arms surprised.

"Pih, Pahkurou-pan!" Chouji greeted cheerfully with the bag of potato chips in his mouth while carrying Kankurou bridal style.

Kankurou sweat dropped and just looked at Chouji's cute chubby face, "Are you sure I'm not the Uke?"

-----o-----

"Where's Kankurou again?" Gaara asked, eating his favorite food… salted tongue and gizzard (bird stomach), sound gross but it tastes good… seriously.

Temari was busy polishing her fan as usual, "He told me that he was going to eat (again) out. Oh yeah Gaara, I'll be attending a mission so you better take care of yourself while I'm gone."

Silence…

"Don't you have a date with Shikamaru?"

"I'll give you fifteen bucks if you don't tell Kankurou anything."

-----o-----

Kankurou and Chouji currently busy cuddling (and eating potato chips) at the riverbank in the park and Chouji is so nice to hug, so soft… so much like hugging a teddy bear but only warmer. Kankurou then took out the very last potato chip and placed it between his lips, "Come on Chouji, I know you want the last potato chip!"

Chouji gave out a wide smile; "Here I come Kankurou!" he said coming closer to grab the potato chip from his lover's lips when suddenly…

"Neh, Temari, Isn't tonight nice?" a familiar voice said, with the volume getting louder and louder as the person got closer.

"You're right Shikamaru." Replied a woman's voice.

The crow and butterfly felt dumbfounded Shikamaru and Temari are dating? Kankurou never knew his sister was into younger men and Chouji never knew his best friend was into older women. That is not the point though…

"Kankurou, they're coming closer!" Chouji said getting panicky at the thought of them being seen together.

Kankurou then had an idea, "Plan S Chouji! Plan S!" he said, with the potato chip still in-between his lips.

Temari and Shikamaru then came and right before them they saw…

A woman wearing bandages for underwear (behold, bondage!) with a potato chip in between her lips and on top of her a woman wearing blue underwear with the leaf symbol on her panties.

Temari and Shikamaru just stared at the two, what the fuck are they doing?

"Can't two women have lesbian sex on the riverbanks anymore?" The woman wearing bandages said, with an annoyed look on her face as she glared at Temari and Shikamaru.

Temari then looked at Shikamaru whose nose is already bleeding because of the sight. The graceful wind just pulled the staring Shikamaru and hurried away.

When they were already out of sight, the women puffed into smoke and there came out Chouji on top of Kankurou. "Man that was so fucking close!" Kankurou said as Chouji reached for the potato chip. Chouji then went off Kankurou and helped him sit up. "It's so hard hiding a forbidden relationship like this."

Suddenly Chouji grabbed both Kankurou's hands, making a flowery background appear, "They could not accept us just like our love, do not worry Kankurou, I will never leave you!" Chouji said, with those determined eyes.

Kankurou sweat dropped making the flower background disappear, "Seriously Chouji, I think I'm supposed to be the Uke…"

To be continued…

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Chapter 1 finished, well hoped you all liked it, the other pairings will not show yet, maybe at the next chapters. So anyway, comments and healthy criticisms are accepted. If you wish to flame then… please… do not use foul language.

Hhmm… Maybe I should make the next chapter longer… I dunnow…


	2. Suspicion

Disclaimer : I do not own Naruto.  
OOCness is greatly expected

Warning : Foul Language, Shounen Ai, perverted stuff

Chapter 2 is now up! I know that the chapters are kind of short but I hope you still like it. Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks for the favorites by the way!

Date 2 : Suspicion

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It was morning Chouji was currently eating potato chips at the training grounds while Shikamaru walked near him. "Hey Chouji…" The lazy bum called attracting Chouji's attention.

"What is it Shikamaru?" Chouji replied, popping the empty bag of potato chips. Somehow, that look on Shikamaru made him nervous, the look of 'SUSPICION'! (Dun! Dun! Dun!)

Shikamaru then sat beside his best friend, "You know yesterday, I saw two women with pig tail hairstyles." He then continued, with Chouji trying to hide the nervousness in him. "They were on top of each other and you know what caught my attention?"

"Their boobies?" Chouji answered.

"No…"

"Their ass?"

"Err… No…"

"Their position?"

"Damn no…"

"Lesbianism?"

"DAMN HELL NO!"

"I knew it… It's their boobs _and_ ass!"

Shikamaru slapped his forehead, no use going on like this, "Let me just continue, the one below had violet markings on her face and bandages for underwear. The one on top has spirals on her cheeks and she's wearing a blue panty very similar to your head protector." When suddenly Shikamaru saw that he was already talking to a log, for a kawaii plump guy Chouji sure is fast!

Gushing anime tears came out the Chibi Chouji's eyes as he ran towards, the Sabaku No apartment room. 'Shikamaru knows, Kankurou! Shikamaru knows!' the chibi yelled in his mind as he ran towards Kankurou's location.

Meanwhile, Kankurou was sitting before their table drinking tea, when suddenly a large crushing sound came to the door, clouds of dust filled the air. In the midst, he saw a shadow... coming closer… and closer…

When suddenly a little kawaii chibi Chouji came slamming to his head, "KANKUROU! KANKUROU!" the chibi Chouji yelled out, as wavy anime tears came running down his cheeks.

"That's the twentieth time you destroyed the door Chouji, what is it?" Kankurou said, as the Chibi Chouji hanged on to the cat-ear-like-pointy-thing on Kankurou's headgear for dear life.

"It's Shikamaru!"

"What about Shikamaru?" Kankurou said with a sigh.

The Chibi then managed to climb up on his head, "Shikamaru knows about us Kankurou! I think he found out that the two women at the park were us!" he said hanging down from Kankurou's head looking at his lover upside down.

Kankurou's eyes widened, "But how could that be? He knows you hate yuri!"

"With you I don't!"

"What's going on…?" Gaara said as he came inside the room when suddenly a sweat formed at his head when he saw the chibi Chouji on top of Kankurou's head. "What's he doing here?"

Kankurou quickly tried to think of what to say as an excuse of why Chouji was here and an idea came to his mind. "Chouji came here because…" Kankurou gulped, hoping the plan will work; "he told me that Rock Lee wanted to ask you for a date!" sweat fell upon Kankurou's face.

When suddenly he and the chibi Chouji saw Gaara now tomato-red with a little happy puff of smoke coming out of him as he just stood there, ooohhh, I know what is going on. Little Sabaku No Gaara has a crushie on a certain green beasty! Gaara then gulped, turned and said, "Tell him… I said… Yes…" he then walked back to his room.

Kankurou and Chouji sweat dropped… My God… they never knew thick eyebrows were his type… oh well!

"Kankurou, now how are we going to set up a date for Lee and Gaara?" Chouji asked, as he turned back into his original form.

Kankurou just crossed his arms and had a smirk on his face, "Let me handle this!"

Moments later…

"OH PLEASE! OH PLEASE! LEE PLEASE DATE MY BABY BROTHER!" Kankurou pleaded on his knees right before Rock Lee, like a man pleading to blow job another guy!

Chouji sweat dropped, '… whoa…' the only time Chouji saw Kankurou pleading like this was in their _sessions_. (imagine that… a pleading naked Kanky? Amagads! –drools- )

Lee just continued on practicing Taijutsu, "But Kankurou, we're both boys!" Lee replied, "I can't believe you would actually ask me to date him… hehe… imagine that both men… hehe!"

Silence…

"HOW DARE YOU!" yelled out a raging Kankurou and Chouji after a moment of awkward silence making Lee's perfect hair stand up in fear.

The two suddenly noticed what they were doing, quickly calmed down and gave a few coughs, "We meant to say," Chouji said after a little cough, "that it would be nice if you would date him."

Lee jaw dropped and decided to accept their dema… -cough- request before something worse might happen.

"Okay then, tomorrow 7 o' clock pm sharp!" Kankurou said with a wide smile on his face as he left with Chouji.

As they walked together, they had their pinky entwined and headed to the Icharaku Ramen Restaurant. (Kankurou's treat of course!) They arrived, sat on the chair and ordered after that they had a little conversation.

"About Shikamaru though…" Kankurou continued, resting his head on the back of both his hands. "This will be hard; he didn't have that IQ of 200 for nothing."

Chouji gave out a sigh, "Hiding our relationship is so hard…" he said looking down on the table.

When suddenly Kankurou pulled him close with Chouji's head on the puppeteer's chest making the Akimichi blush, "What's important Chouji is that we love each other." The thespian said with such loving eyes.

"Kankurou…" Chouji said as their faces came closer and closer.

"Chouji…"

"Kankurou…"

"Chouji…"

"Umm... The bowls of ramen you ordered are here…"

The two quickly looked at the side of their eyes with their lips only millimeters away seeing that the Icharaku guy was looking at them making Kankurou fall off.

The Icharaku guy rubbed his head, "I guess I wasn't supposed to interrupt."

Kankurou : You think?

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Arrggghh… this is one of the worst things I have ever made, I have to make the next chapter better… ah well…

_This is Chouji! Kankurou will be gone for a week because of a mission. I noticed though, while we were walking together, he keeps on looking on other men! Waaahhh! They're all slim too! If he goes out on a mission and I'm not there… Innnnnooooo! Next chapter, Chapter 3 : Kankurou looks, Chouji diets! Ino I need your help!_


	3. Kankurou Looks, Chouji Diets

Disclaimer : I do not own Naruto

OOCness is greatly expected

Chapter 3 now up! Well, anyway, I have more time on making this fic, so people forgive me for submitting for such a long time. I decided to make the walking, eating. Anyway, on with the fic!

Date 3 : Kankurou looks, Chouji diets

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Sorry for my dumbness, but I don't know how to start a fic or chapter still… hmm… Ah well!

Kankurou and Chouji were currently eating breakfast together at some restaurant, when suddenly Chouji noticed Kankurou looking at something with so much awe and wonder. Chouji decided to look at where his lover was looking and right before him, he saw a shinobi slim in stature, with long black hair, amethyst colored eyes (a typical bishounen), who was currently checking the time on his watch.

Chouji fell silent, Kankurou was checking out other men? He was shocked how could Kankurou do this to him. "Uh, Kankurou, what are you looking at?" Chouji asked trying to act as if he did not see the guy his lover was checking out.

"Just something… beautiful… hehe. Why?" Kankurou replied, making Chouji feel so insecure with himself. He was so much different to that guy. Especially the body form, he was slim and Chouji was… "Nothing Kankurou… it was nothing."

"Before I forget Chouji, I will be leaving for a mission later on. I will be gone for about a week. So be good while I'm gone okay?" Kankurou said giving Chouji one of those sweet loveable smiles.

'Be good while I'm gone too okay?'

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Moments later, Chouji was not eating a bag of potato chips as he used to; Kankurou has already left for his mission leaving him alone. The thought of Kankurou checking out other guys just won't leave his mind for some reason. When suddenly he remembered someone who could help him, he quickly ran and entered the flower shop. "Iiiiiiinnnnnoooooo!"

Ino jumped from the counter, surprised upon Chouji suddenly calling him. "Uh, Chouji! What are you doing here?" Ino said surprised, Chouji never really visits her that much, especially since; she always recommends him most of the time to go on a diet.

Chouji started to breathe heavily, "Ino I want you to help me get thin in a week!"

Ino was shocked, she didn't know what to say, Chouji wanted to get thin… hell as froze… "Chouji, you want to get thin?"

Chouji gave out a nod and his eyes showed much determination. Ino hasn't seen him like this before and decided to help him. "Okay Chouji," she said taking off the apron from her waist. "I'll help you get thin… Dad, I will be helping a friend for a while okay? Now let's go!"

Ino suddenly took out a bicycle, "We'll be doing this everyday!" she took it out from the shop with Chouji wondering what she meant.

"Uhh… Ino there's only one bike…" Chouji said as Ino quickly sat on it.

Ino just gave out a wide smile, "Well duh, you'll be running 50 laps around Konoha, and you have to keep up with my bike, no resting!"

Chouji's eyes widened, "And I have to do this everyday?"

Ino just gave out a grin and tied a chain around Chouji, "If you can't keep up you'll know what's going to happen!"

Chouji's could not help but imagine the sight, bumps, scratches and bruises all over him with some peeled skin at the side. He would become unattractive! Then Kankurou might… Chouji gulped, he must keep going on even if he can't or else his lover might leave him!

"NOW LET'S GO!" Ino yelled out excitedly as she started to push the pedals of the bike with her feet with Chouji running as fast as he could to keep up with her.

Few hours later…

Chouji fell down to the floor panting and sweating as if someone poured fifty gallons of sweat over him. (1 gallon per lap heheh) This calls for a good bag of potato chips, he got out one when suddenly Ino pulled it away from him. Chouji turned chibi and with his sad sparkly eyes looked at Ino.

Ino placed her hands on her hips, "No way are you eating potato chips like these Chouji!"

When suddenly Ino threw to him a bag of baked potato chips, Chouji remembers this one, he could not take the taste, it was almost tasteless. It sucked ass… He preferred not to eat it and threw it back to Ino. He was starving…

Ino noticed the look on Chouji's face and said, "Well, we better eat right? Come on let's eat at this restaurant I love."

Not as Chouji had expected, no more Korean barbecues, no more juicy steaks, only vegetables and some slices of fish, yeah fish is nice but this one tasted horrible. After a while, it was placed on the table it was finished in seconds, and he was not even full.

"Hey Chouji, I wanna ask you something." Ino said which attracted the Akimichi's attention. "What do you think of the puppeteer shinobi from the sand?"

Silence…

"**IT'S TRUE IT'S ALL TRUE! I AM DATING THE PUPPETEER! HE WAS MY FIRST KISS! HE LOST HIS VIRGINITY TO ME AND I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO HIM!"**

People started to whisper as they looked at Chouji standing up confessing everything. Ino was dumbfounded. When suddenly, the butterfly noticed what he was doing and sat down with his face now red as a ripe tomato.

Ino patted Chouji's head, "That'll do Chouji… That'll do…"

Chouji began to cry like hell, "The things I do for love!"

Ino began to comfort Chouji and was a little disturbed… especially the virginity part. "I was just asking because I thought maybe you know… but since he's taken never mind." Ino continued, "Is this the reason why you want to get thin Chouji?"

Chouji nodded silently.

"Then why not get someone who would love you for who you are?" Ino asked concerned for her teammate.

Chouji shook his head, "It's not like that… he loves me for who I am but… I just saw him checking out some slim guy! Now I thought maybe I could ask for your help to become slim in week before Kankurou would arrive."

"Don't worry Chouji I'll help you!" Ino said slamming her hand down on the table, "I'll make you thin in a week!"

"Arigatou Ino! You're such a good friend."

Therefore, the tale of Chouji began everyday, fifty laps, nothing but vegetables, fish and grain. Measuring tape everyday, yogurt instead of cream, baked instead of fried, wheat instead of white. It was a hard battle, until the day of Kankurou's arrival they already had a successful mission.

Chouji woke up, got dressed and noticed his clothes were too big for him but those were the only clothes he had so, no choice. His father Akimichi Chouza was already there at the table eating, when suddenly he dropped his chopsticks upon seeing his son Chouji walk in the room, with his clothes too big for him.

"Oh my fourth Hokage Chouji, don't tell me you took the red hot chili pepper pill!" Chouza exclaimed pointing at his son.

Chouji just shook his head, "No otoosan, I didn't I just you know, decided to lose some weight."

Chouza was shocked, his son decided to lose some weight, what happened to Chouji to make him decided on doing such a thing? His clothes are already too loose for him already. He had noticed Chouji somehow changing his eating style for the past few days; the fridge was still full of meat but fish, veggies and bran cereals, which is what they were running out. Chouza was worried…

-o-o-o-o-o-

Moments later, Chouji was now heading for Ino's shop to begin the day. While walking he noticed people looking at him and whispering to each other. Kunoichis and other girls were even checking him out. He then arrived to Ino's shop.

"Hey Ino, I'm ready for another day." Chouji called to her with that cute smile on his face, because a few hours later Kankurou will already be back.

Ino was surprised, Chouji had so much result in just a few days, "You know Chouji, maybe we should buy you some new clothes." Ino suggested, resting her chin on both her hands. "Your old ones are too loose for you."

Chouji looked at himself well yeah he had noticed it earlier but he did not expect to go shopping for new clothes. Ino pulled him out of the shop and pulled him to the biggest mall at Konoha, KM (Kunai Mart).

"Err Ino… A shirt and some shorts would do…" Chouji said as he looked at Ino browsing through the different selections.

"Nonsense Chouji, you want to impress Kankurou don't you?" She said enthusiastically as she browsed for clothes that would fit him.

First Choice : Genjo Sanzo of Gensomaden Saiyuki style! (Holy on the outside but smexxaaay on the inside!)

Ino : Too priesty…

Second Choice : Yami Yugi of Yu-Gi-Oh style! (Let's duel! Rawr!)

Ino : Too gamey…

Third Choice : Aya of Weiss Kreuz style! (Florist by day, Assassin by night!)

Ino : Too dark…

Fourth Choice : Seto Kaiba of Yu-Gi-Oh style! (Wanna see my dragon? –wink-)

Ino : Too white…

Fifth Choice : Hotohori of Fushigi Yugi style! (I am the emperor you must turn around and bow before me!)

Ino : Too olden…

Chouji gave out a sigh, "Ino, this is the fifth one," he said entering the dressing room, "we're not going anywhere…"

Ino just took clothes randomly and threw it at the dressing room, "There try that!" she said hoping that those random clothes would actually go together and look good.

Chouji came out and Ino was satisfied, "Okay we'll take this one!" she yelled out running to the counter.

"Ino… these are just my clothes on its smaller size…"

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Chouji and Ino were heading back for the butterfly's home when suddenly they saw a certain someone right in front of them. It was none other than the puppeteer from Suna himself, shocked on spotting Chouji with his new body form.

"**CH-CHOUJI?**" Kankurou stuttered still-in shock when suddenly he fell to the floor unconscious.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Kankurou woke up and saw himself lying on Chouji's lap who was currently sitting on a couch. He looked around and saw it was the Akimichi's residence. Ino was already gone but he did not care.

"Good you're awake." Chouji said with that cute little innocent smile of his as he looked down at the puppeteer lying on his lap.

Kankurou was about to sit up when suddenly he felt his head ache. "Damn head… Chouji what happened to you? Why did you do this?" Guess he hit his head when he fainted.

Chouji suddenly went silent and his smile turned upside down, "I saw you checking out some other guy and... I got you know…"

The puppeteer started to think about, "Oh you mean that guy!" Kankurou said with the sudden action making his head hurt. "Argh… It's just a misunderstanding Chouji! I was looking at his watch! See I even bought one for myself!" The crow then showed him his new Kolex watch.

Chouji's eyes widened, "You're saying that I did all that for nothing?"

Kankurou gave out a smirk, "Well not really…"and suddenly groped Chouji's butt.

Chouji :

Akimichi Chouza aka Chouji's dad came in with the ice pack and the two young shinobis looked at him, especially Kankurou worrying how he will react (don't worry the grope was already done). Chouza had a smile on his face very similar of that of Chouji's and threw the ice pack towards his son. "There for your boyfriend!"

"Otoosan…" Chouji said blushing cherry blossom pink as he placed the ice pack on Kankurou's head.

Kankurou's jaw dropped, Chouji's dad knows. The puppeteer shifted his eyes towards the young Akimichi, "You didn't tell me your dad knows…."

"Gomen nasai… It just slipped off my mind I guess."

Kankurou then noticed something, "Hey why don't we ever get the chance to do hot smexay man sex in your room anyway?

Chouji rubbed the back of his head, "Dad's into sex after marriage."

"Oh so, he's that type of father."

Silence…

"Wanna sleep over and make hot smexay man sex in my room anyway?" Kankurou said looking up at Chouji.

"Okay!"

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Yo, this is Kankurou. Ever since Chouji had this new body of his he started to try out cross-dressing. You heard that right, cross-dressing. Well not like, I am complaining. Rawr! Anyway, that night we arranged a meeting at the park but why do I sense someone's chakra? Next Chapter, Date 4 : Caught in the Act! Show yourself fucker!


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